Looking at the clock, I see that it is already 2:14 in the afternoon where I live. I have hesitated in writing this post. Having to write it is one of the reasons for my heavy heart, but not wanting to have another experience that brought forth A Cleansing Rain for My Sin, I decided to stop trying to draw out the inevitable and sit down at the computer.
Before I began to type today, I went back and read the last few posts, ending with the cleansing rain one. It wasn't until I came to the final two paragraphs that I had written in that post, that I knew the real reason for my procrastination. History repeats itself and reading the words anew was enough impetus to get me to click on the pen icon to write this piece.
Before I get into the heart of this message, let me tell you a story about myself that, given the nature of this blog, you may find hard to believe. This week, a friend of mine shared her blog with me that has been off of the Internet for awhile, and let me tell you what, the woman can write! Her bare bones honesty is refreshing. Her wonderful illustrations were beautifully written and engaging and drew me in because they were so easy to relate to. I loved every minute that I spent reading through the experiences of her life! She didn't hold back the achingly good and the awfully painful, and in every story, HE was there! Each illustration painted a lovely picture of His Word and His presence in not just her life, but in all of our lives. It was an honor that she trusted me enough to open up in that way and I don't take it lightly.
I bring that up to of course tell you of my joy at reading her blog and also to tell you that when the prophetess told me a few years ago that I would have one of my own, that is how I expected it would be. A devotional of sorts that grew out of my day to day experiences. Tales from my life that would make people laugh or cry, or smile and nod in identification; as well as bring forth truth from His Word to take it much deeper than mere story telling.
When the Father asked me more than a couple of years ago during a church service, if He could use my writing and I instantly answered, "Sure!", I did so not knowing what that would mean. I expected that it would a continuation of the same things that I had been doing, so of course I had no problem with it. Composing things like Bible studies, letters, cards, e mails and wordy texts were no big deal, right? Shifting gears to make those kinds of things into a blog was where I thought He was headed. I'm shaking my head as the irony of, "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."*, is going through my mind.
Nope, that isn't where He was headed. This is where He was going. And as His chosen title for the blog reveals, these hard truths are the things that He has chosen For Such a Time as This. Do I feel badly that my plans were aborted in lieu of Him taking this blog in a direction I never saw coming back when He asked if He could use my writing; even taking into consideration the costs and losses that have come with it? If you could see the slow smile that's building on my face and the shake of my head that accompanies it, you would already know the answer to that question. His "life more abundant" promise is manifesting itself in my life to a fullness that it never has before! I wouldn't trade one second of the peace, depth, discovery and blessings of this walk on the ancient paths for anything this world has to offer!
Yesterday, I published a post that told you that my heart is heavy, in part, because of something He has asked me to convey to you. All morning I hesitated to write it and when I finally got up the guts to do so, this is what came. It appears to me that He wanted you to see the difference between Him and me so as to clear up any doubt when the message comes.
I will close this piece as I began it, with my telling of re-reading some recent posts that ended with A Cleansing Rain for My Sin. When you come to the last two paragraphs that I wrote, you will see why I don't mind that He has always made For Such a Time as This, HIS.
http://suebendorf.blogspot.com/2014/02/a-cleansing-rain.html?m=1
*Proverbs 16:9 NKJV
