My heart has been heavy the last couple of days. There are reasons for it. Some I have been aware of, others have been veiled. I have prayed and waited for Him to show me all of the reasons.
As I stood in the shower this morning, a song from the past came to mind with such force that I found myself singing it. I haven't sung it in a long time so these lyrics will be from memory. I don't want to look it up to make sure that all the words are correct. In this instance, it would feel like I was cheapening the time I had spent singing it to Him.
"Sometimes my little heart can't understand. What's in Your will? What's in Your plan?
So many times I'm tempted to ask You why.
But I can never forget it for long,
Lord, what You do, could not be wrong.
So I believe You, even when I must cry.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does north wind blow?
You can see my heart.
You can read my mind.
And You've got to know I would rather die,
Than to lose my faith in the One I love.
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?
Lord, I'm keepin' my eyes on You, following You, following You.
My Lord, I'm keepin' my eyes on You, following You, following You.
I won't look to the left or right.
My only hope, is keepin' You in my sight.
Lord, I'm keepin' my eyes on You, following You, following You. My Lord.
We will glorify the King of Kings.
We will glorify the Lamb.
We will glorify the Lord of Lords. Who is the Great I AM.
Who IS.
I will trust You, Lord, when I don't know why.
I will trust You, Lord, 'til the day I die.
I will trust You, Lord, when I'm blind with pain.
You were God before and You never change!
I will trust You!
I will trust You!
I will trust You, Lord!
I will trust You!
I will trust You!
I WILL TRUST YOU, LORD!
Do I Trust You Medley by Twila Paris
Every time I think of this song, I remember a dream that I had shortly after becoming a believer. In the dream I was crossing the Red Sea on dry ground like the Israelites had done in their escape from Pharaoh's army. The sound of rushing waters was incredible as was the height of the brilliantly blue walls of water that flowed upward. I saw animals of the sea swim up the sides with the direction of the flow. As you can imagine, I was in complete and utter awe as my eyes traveled everywhere! I had walked for awhile when I came to a fork in the road. A path went to the right and one went to the left. Although I reasoned that the right would be the best route to take, I wondered if it was a test. So I first took a few steps down the left and backed up. Then I took a few down the right, but that didn't feel right, either. So I came back to the place in the middle and stared at it. I told myself that it was just a veil of water and no matter what happened, I knew that what I was thinking was what I was supposed to do. I pushed through the wall of water and found that indeed, it was only a thin veil. It was then that I heard in my spirit this command,
"Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them." Deuteronomy 28:14
After hearing those Words - that I had no prior knowledge of, my ears beheld people cheering and in the midst of their cheers, I heard that they were shouting my name! Needless to say, I started to run and my excitement grew with each step! I came to another veil and this time with no hesitation, I pushed through, careful to keep my eyes tightly shut so as to not ruin the surprise of whom I would meet on the other side. SUCH CELEBRATION! Someone picked me up and hands were patting me and crying out how good it was for me to finally be HOME!
When I awakened with a huge smile on my face and tears on my eyelids, I knew that not only was the dream from Him, but that it was prophetic. That at some point on my walk I would have my own "Red Sea experience" and have to make a decision that would affect my arrival Home. In the dream I had clearly made the right choice. Through the years I wondered if I would make the right one when the time came for me to face it in real life.
As I stood in the shower this morning with Twila's song and my Red Sea dream on my mind, I knew all the reasons for my heavy heart and I knew what He was asking me to do. But for today, this story is enough and will be an introduction for what's to come.
Red Sea crossing - Exodus 14
"26 Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
27 Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil."
Proverbs 4:26-27
