Last month on January 16th, I went to a Christian website to watch a teaching video. However, my eyes fell upon the title of the one I have included below and I ended up watching it, instead. As this man preached, I found myself amazed at how closely the things he was saying were matching up with the things that the Father has been showing me and that I in turn, have been sharing with you. When I had finished, I went to youtube to see if there were other videos of his messages. After watching a couple of more that served as additional witnesses to the things that have been revealed to me in dreams and visions and in my times of prayer and Bible study, I came back to this one and watched it for a second time. As soon as it was over and the dot moved to the end of the screen, I heard His undeniable voice say to my spirit, "Post it." As I look back now upon that day, I remember it clearly; the chair in the living room where I was sitting, and the slight shake of my head as I backed away from my phone. I reasoned within myself that some people who viewed it would be angry with what he had to say, thinking, "How DARE he say such things?!" Others would view it and be upset because they would believe that he hadn't gone far enough in the things that he said, and there I would be, stuck in the middle. So I pushed it aside and thus began a month of wondering why nothing new was impressed upon my heart to write about on the blog.
Oh, life continued. I still wrote. I sent e mails and e cards to people who needed His words of wisdom, encouragement and confirmation. I also found that thoughts went through my mind on a regular basis of things I could write about, but I didn't sense His leading to blog any of those thoughts. Actually, I even began to write two posts that sit on my dashboard as unfinished drafts. Then something unexpected happened. Around one this morning during a time of prayer, this video came to my remembrance so I found it and clicked on it again. When the preaching had ended and the dot moved to the end of the screen, I remembered His words, "Post it."
For those of you who have followed this blog, you know that I write from a personal perspective. The posts are about things that the Father has shown me and my experiences with dying to my own beliefs and opinions in order to more fully embrace His teachings and instructions. To walk in a manner that is more pleasing to Him and reflects more of the nature of His Son. Although every bit of the discovery and subsequent changes have been more than worthwhile, I would be a liar if I said that it isn't a humbling and painful process. Through it, I am learning more of what it means to be a living sacrifice. To be laid bare while every deception becomes exposed to the Light of His Holy Word and Spirit. Through reading the posts, you have learned that by nature, I am a people pleaser. Well, my nature has seen a lot of deaths through the years because I realized very early on in my walk with Him that I could not serve YHVH and man any easier than a person can serve money and YHVH. I could not serve two masters and do either of them justice. I had to decide and keep on deciding which one I would be devoted to and which one I would hate. It is an ongoing decision that we all have to continuously make.
In this particular case, He brought me back to where I got off track. The day that I chose your opinion of me over His will. I chuckle slightly and shake my head with tears standing in my eyes as I consider the irony of that statement, because the truth of the matter is, people have already pushed away from me. Not just within the last few months, but it happens any time He takes me to greater depths of sorrow, truth, understanding, and obedience. Before I go any further, you must know that as I sit here before Him, as much as I know myself, there is not one shred of pride in what I just wrote. You remember when the woman came to where Messiah was having a meal in the home of a Pharisee? She walked in and fell down crying at his feet, washing them with her tears and drying them with her hair. In his mind, the Pharisee began to judge her and Him for letting her touch Him. Knowing his thoughts, Messiah rebuked him by telling him a story that included the truth that, "whoever has been forgiven much, loves much." Well you see, that woman could have easily been me. So in order to be close to His feet I will do what He asks, whether anyone else understands or agrees or not. HE is my master and as much as I love people and the Body and the Bride of Messiah, (the place where my ministry has always taken place) she pales in comparison to the One who left heaven for me. The One who died in my place and rose again for me. The One who will come back one day soon to receive me unto Himself that where He is, I may be also. Since He loves you more than I do, when He instructs me, I will tell you the truth whether you believe it or not and certainly whether or not you like me. Through the experience of the last month, once again He reminded me that I don't live for the love of man and part of the price of being His disciple means being hated by the world and even by those within the church, because they hated Him first and no one is greater than his master.
So that being said, as you watch the video, try to remember that the One who loves you more than you can possibly comprehend, the same One who wants to live forever with you much more than you want to live with Him, has waited on me for over a month to bring you this message. In the brokenness of my realization early this morning, I ended up face down on the living room floor in repentance. As I come to the end of this post, I ask you to forgive me for caring more about what you thought than for what you need.
I am so sorry!
Sue
The following are Scriptures that came to mind as I wrote this and are taken from the NKJV:
"1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service."
Romans 12:1
"24 No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon."
Matthew 6:24
"13 No servant can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon
14 Now the Pharisees, who were lovers of money, also heard all these things, and they derided Him.
15 And He said to them, 'You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the sight of God.' "
Luke 16:13-15
" 36 Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee's house, and sat down to eat.
37 And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil,
38 and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil.
39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying,
'This man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.'
40 And Jesus answered and said to him, 'Simon, I have something to say to you.' So he said, 'Teacher, say it.'
41 'There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.
42 'And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?'
43 Simon answered and said, 'I suppose the one whom he forgave more.' And He said to him, 'You have rightly judged.'
44 Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, 'Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears an wiped them with the hair of her head.
45 'You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in.
46 'You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil.
47 'Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.'
48 'Then He said to her, 'Your sins are forgiven.'
49 And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, 'Who is this who even forgives sins?'
50 Then He said to the woman, 'Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.' "
Luke 7:36-50
"28 'For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it -
29 'lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,
30 'saying, 'This man began to build and was not able to finish.'
31 'Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?
32 'Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace.
33 'So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.' "
Luke 14:28-33
"1 Now the Feast of Unleavened Bread drew near, which is called Passover.
2 And the chief priests and the scribes sought how they might kill Him, ..."
Luke 22:1-2
"14 'You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
15 'No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.
16 'You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.
17 ' These things I command you, that you love one another.
18 'If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.
19 'If you were of the world, the would would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.
20 'Remember the word that I said to you, 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.
21 'But all these things they will do to you for My name's sake, because they do not know Him who sent me.
22 'If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.'
23 'He who hates Me hates My Father also.
24 'If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would have no sin; but now they have seen and also heard both Me and My Father.
25 'But this happened that the word might be fulfilled which is written in their law, 'They hated Me without cause.' "
John 15:14-25
"1 'Let not your heart be troubled, you believe in God, believe also in Me.
2 'In My Father's house are many mansions, if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 'And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.' "
John 14:1-3
